Playing God
by Katsue
Summary: This is a fanfic I wrote for my friend. It's about two girls who are thrown into the world of Fruits Basket. Craziness ensues of course and I'm planning on making sequels. So check it out! I'm a first time writer and would love some constructive crtitici
1. Party time

Disclaimer: If I owned Fruits Basket do you _really_ think I would be writing fanfiction!

Katie: So here's my test run! I have no idea how to upload this...

Jess: Figures you wouldn't.

Katie: Hey! That's so unfair!

Jess: No it's not. coughtohrucough

Katie: Excuse me!

Jess: Oh, nothing! Here's the fic!

**_Chapter 1_**

Jess rang the doorbell and waited impatiently. Katie had already missed her party so what did she want now? The phone call had only asked her to come to Katie's house on Saturday. "How irritating," she muttered as she squashed a bug under her foot. But she was glad she would be seeing Katie again. They had barely even talked since school ended. The door finally opened and she looked up to see Katie standing there and giving her a large smile. Jess found that despite herself she was smiling back.

"Come on in! Oh, gosh I've missed you! Oh look your cast is gone!"

Jess rolled her eyes. "I sent you an e-mail about that."

"Oh… yeah." Katie smiled sheepishly at Jess. "Sorry, I forgot."

"You are _such_ a Tohru." Jess laughed and poked Katie in the stomach, making her squeal, which only made her laugh harder. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Oh, yeah! Well… I felt really bad about not being able to make your party, sooooo I decided to throw you a Fruits Basket party right here." Katie smiled smugly, pleased with herself.

"Um, ok… well, where is everyone?" Jess looked around as if expecting to see people hiding behind the sofa or chairs.

"Everyone? Oh, well I sorta wanted to have a party with just you and me. That's ok isn't it?" Katie glanced anxiously at Jess.

She only shrugged in reply. "Sure, whatever you want."

Katie began to climb up the stairs as Jess followed and stumbled halfway up. 'Like a said… such a Tohru…' Katie led her down a hallway to her room where she had arranged two pink beanbag chairs across from each other on the floor. In the middle stood all of her Fruits Basket books, DVD's, and CD's.

"See? All we need for a party!" Katie said as she settled into a beanbag chair. The two girls began to laugh and joke and listen to the CD's when they realized a whole hour had already gone by. They stared at the clock.

"Wow, time sure flies when you're having fun."

"Hey, Jess, look! It's 11:11(am)!"

"The Wishing Hour," they both said at the same time.

Katie smiled, "Let's wish on furuba then!"

The books were all piled neatly on top of each other and Jess found herself smiling at how perfect they all looked like that, it was just like Katie to be a perfectionist, she had the insane urge to knock them down but instead said, "Sure."

Their hands touched the books at the same time, 11:11 and 30 seconds, Jess felt a great roaring sensation in her ears and flashes of light passed her.

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Katie: HA! I got it uploaded on the first try!

Jess: Beginners luck.

Katie: Is not!

Jess: Yeah whatever. HEY! All you people--

Katie: What are you talking about? No one's going to read this.

Jess: Shut up. Anyway, all you people REVIEW! Or Katie will get depressed and stop writing!

Katie: And then Jess will kill me.

Jess: Yes, I will.

Katie: 0.0


	2. Is that a CAT!

Jess: YES! She updated! hits Katie

Katie: What the heck! What was that for?

Jess: Just for because

Katie: Why me? -- ;;

**_Chapter 2_**

Katie saw lights sweeping past her and squeezed her eyes shut. What was going on? It felt as if she were flying and falling at the same time. For an instant she slowed and was suspended in thin air and then she fell a few feet onto something warm that quickly disappeared. She opened her eyes and saw a flash of smoke. A moment later Jess fell on top of her.

"Mmmff!"

Jess quickly scrambled off Katie and put her hand to her head. "What happened?" She glanced around. "Where _are_ we?"

"I don't--…" She was interrupted by a yowling sound that sounded like a cat. It was coming from right behind her. She quickly turned and felt Jess look over her shoulder and utter an exclamation.

"Holy…"

Katie was sitting on a bright orange cat's tail and it was squirming and yelling at the top of it's lung.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

Katie screamed and jumped away. "Did that cat just--?" Katie and Jess exchanged a look.

"Kyo…?"

There was another puff of smoke and both girls covered there eyes. They heard someone come down the stairs and stumble.

"Is everything all right in? Oh…! I'm sorry Kyo-kun! Here are your clothes…"

Jess and Katie exchanged looks behind there hands. It couldn't be…

They waited for the rustling sounds to stop and then peeked out from behind their hands. Katie gasped, "Oh my goodness…"

Kyo and Tohru were standing there staring. Tohru looked at them both uncertainly, "Um, would either of you like some tea…?"

Kyo hit her on the head, "Of course they wouldn't, dummy!"

Tohru rubbed at the spot where he had hit her, "Well I just thought that--…"

She was interrupted by a soft voice. "What's the matter Honda-san?"

Before she could answer Jess burst out, "It's the damn rat boy!"

The three older teenagers jumped and said in unison, "How did you…?"

Jess looked at them all and gave a nod. "Yup. You all look like I thought you would. And Kyo has _really_ orange hair… it's so hard to tell when it's in black and white…"

Katie was brought out of her stupor when she saw how confused they all were, Kyo was even starting to look mad. "Look this is going to be really hard to explain…"

"Well then you'd better start," Kyo snarled.

"Kyo-kun!" Tohru gave him a look and he rolled his eyes.

"No, it's all right he's just confused--…" Katie was cut off by Jess.

"Yeah, Kyon-Kyon doesn't like being confused," she teased.

"Jess, maybe you'd better let me handle this."

Jess shrugged, "Ok, if you want to."

Katie turned back to the three, still confused, housemates. "Ok guys, just promise not to interrupt."

They all nodded, Kyo only after Yuki nudged him in the ribs a little too hard.

"Ok, um…. Well you need to keep an open mind all right?"

Tohru smiled brightly at Katie, "Of course!" Kyo glared at her and Yuki just looked plain confused.

Katie inhaled deeply and then started talking very fast, "Well you see, I invited Jess over because I hadn't seen her for so long and then we both touched the books and we got sucked in…. Hey Jess! Just like in Fushigi Yugi!" Katie grinned stupidly at Jess.

"Oh, shut up!" Jess hit Katie hard on the side of the head.

"Ow! Anyway, and then we wound up here!" Katie looked around at the three bemused manga characters.

"Yeah… suuuuuuuure." Kyo raised an eyebrow and sat down heavily at the table. Tohru hopped over and joined him and Yuki simply said, "Another world?"

Jess crossed her arms, "You bet." She walked over to Kyo and lightly kicked him. "What's up with ignoring you Tohru anyway?"

"Yeah! That's mean Kyo-san!" Katie said as she joined Jess.

"San!" Jess stared incredously at Katie.

"Well, yeah. I just met him…"

Jess hit Katie harder on the head.

"Would you quit that Jess!"

"No."

"You're too mean!"

"Why thank you."

Kyo looking from Jess to Katie like he was watching a tennis match. "Uh, guys? Wait… no… STOP!" They both turned to stare at him. "What are _talking_ about! I haven't been ignoring Tohru!"

Both girls looked at each other. "Wha!"

"I mean, she did think I was mad at her a while ago but I wasn't…"

Jess stared at him, "What are you--?"

"Oh! You mean when you went to the lake house! Um… then… has Tohru-san met Kisa-san yet?" Katie asked as she interrupted Jess.

Tohru clapped her hands together, "Oh! You know Kisa-chan? Isn't she just adorable!"

Yuki smiled slightly at Tohru and then turned to Katie and Jess, "How do you two know Kisa?"

"Katie told you. We're from another world." Jess glared at Yuki. "I don't see why they call him a prince… how 'bout you Kat—Katie?"

Katie was sitting with Tohru talking about how they both thought Kisa was the cutest and sweetest little girl in the whole world.

"KATIE!"

"AHHHH!" Katie jumped about ten feet into the air. "Um, yes…?"

"Oh never mind. But you know Kisa isn't the best character. Kyo is."

Katie looked outraged, "Well sure, he's great and all, but Tohru is waaaaay better!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Kyo!"

"Tohru!"

"KYO!"

"TOHRU!"

Kyo and Tohru both looked alarmed. They were both blushing and stuttering like complete idiots. Yuki was watching the whole scene from across the room and no one noticed when he started to chuckle.

"I SAID KYO!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! TOHRU IS THE BEST!"

Suddenly everything turned dark again and multi-colored lights whizzed by. Both girls moaned, "Oh, great… not again." And then they blacked out.

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Jess: Back to waiting….

Katie: Hey, I'll get the next chapter up! ….eventually….

Jess: ;; See what I have to deal with! hit's Katie… again

Katie: You know what….

Jess: REVIEW! So these stupid dreams stop!

Katie: ….dreams?

Jess: Your stupid fanfic is giving me dreams. What the heck is going to happen! I'm going crazy!


	3. Waking Up

Katie: Hello, everyone!

Haru: Hey.

Jess: Haru, what're you doing here? (gives Haru noogie)

Haru: Ow, quit it.

Danni: Jess! That's pathetic this is how you do it. (grabs Haru's head and commences noogie)

Katie and Jess: DANNI!

Danni: Hullew!

Katie: OMIGOSH! Hi, Danni! So nice of you to join us! (turns to readers) This is my friend! She's really nice and a great Christian!

Katie and Danni: GOD IS THE AWESOMEST AWESOME EVER!

Jess: Umm, I'm an atheist…

Danni: (glare)

Haru: Hmm, me too.

Katie: Well let's—

Danni: I'm going to go convert Mr. Cool Hair!

Katie: Umm…. Have fun? Anyway while Danni is converting Haru why don't you all read Chapter 3?

Jess: --;;

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**_Chapter 3_**

Jess yawned and stretched. Her arm hit the wall and she realized she was in a bed. 'Oh, yeah. I'm at Katie's.' She got up, her eyes half closed, and stumbled over to a mirror to smooth out her hair.

As she looked up she saw not her face reflected at her but someone else's. Jess didn't see her own shoulder length blond hair but long brown hair and big brown eyes. 'Oh, great… how many of these dreams am I going to _have?_" The year before she'd constantly had dreams that she was Tohru, living in the anime and keeping the Sohma's out of trouble.

'Well, whatever, I'd better get changed. I guess I'll make Kyo cook.' She rolled her eyes as she walked toward the chest of drawers. 'Not that it matters if I'm dreaming,' she added to herself.

She opened a random drawer and saw that it was filled with skirts and stockings. Sighing she closed the drawer(she had to shove, it was so full) and opened another. 'Ew, panties… they're so… white. Is that… baking soda? Jeez, Tohru…' She tried yet another drawer and found socks and hygiene products. "Where are all the pants!" She asked in an aggravated whisper.

Ten minutes later, and after much searching and throwing of various clothing articles, she found a pair of jeans. There was a little blue card sticking out of the pocket,

Tohru,

Here are some pants. I figured you could use them for housework or something since they don't fit me and they don't exactly work with Hana's style. And please at _least_ try them once! You could catch a cold doing chores outside in those skirts you're always wearing.

Love,

Arisa

"Well thanks, Arisa." Jess mumbled as she slid the pants up Tohru's legs. "Maybe I'll visit you later." She pulled on a simple T-shirt and walked downstairs. Yuki was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea.

"Good morning, Honda-san," he said pleasantly.

"Yeah, hi." Jess mumbled as she fished through a drawer, looking for a snack. "What's up?"

"Um… Honda-san…?"

"What do ya want, rat?"

"Well… you seem—"

They were interrupted by a scream. It sounded like a boy.

"What the--?" Jess and Yuki both said at the same time. They stared at each other for a moment. Yuki asked what they were both thinking first, "Is that… Kyo?"

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Katie sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes. She stretched, catlike(Me: coughcough) and sighed contentedly. She smiled when she remembered that Jess had spent the night. But what a strange dream she'd had! She had to tell Jess about it… but where was she? She looked sleepily around the room. Wait a second… where was _she!_ She stood warily up and started to creep forward. A floorboard creaked and she tread carefully over it.

"Um, h-hello… is anybody th-there…?" She whispered, too scared to speak loudly. As she passed the full-length mirror on the wardrobe she saw a boy. He looked to be in high school. He had bright orange hair and reddish-orange eyes.

She screamed.

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Katie: So what'd you guys think?

Jess: You kept your promise and updated (tear).

Katie: Of course!

Danni: All right, guys! I'm ba-ack! Mr. Cool Hair is cool!

Jess: Was that… a pun?

Danni: . .

Katie: You know, Danni, he does have a name.

Haru: Yes, it's Hatsuharu.

Danni: Oh…

Katie: Well, it's not her fault. She's never seen any _good_ anime! So guys review right now and tell her she should watch some anime!

Jess: You're copying Shii-chanchick's idea and using Danni as a way to get people to review, aren't you?

Katie:……………

Kyo: Idiots.

Katie and Jess: KYO! 0.0

Danni: Who?


	4. Plan of Action

**Katie: (is typing at the computer)**

**Jess: (spies on Katie)**

**Katie: Jess! Go away!**

**Jess: Damn! You caught me!**

**Katie: Next time don't breathe so loud. And what were you doing over there!**

**Jess: Checking to see if you're working on my fic!**

**Katie: Of course I am! Can't you see I'm writing the AN? See I just typed AN!**

**Jess: Oh, shut it! Here's Chapter 4: Plan of Action!**

_**Chapter 4**_

"**What the…" Jess quickly strode over to the stairs, "Hey, rat boy."**

**Yuki looked at her, surprised that Tohru, of all people, would be calling him 'rat boy'. "Um… you mean me?"**

"**Do you see any other rats around here! Yes, you! I'm going upstairs. You stay right here. Got it?"**

"**Uh… I suppose so…" Yuki tilted his head so that he could see her face better in the dim,early morninglight, "Are you… feeling all right…?" **

"**I'm feeling fresh as a daffodil," Jess drawled sarcastically. "You'd better be right here when I come back!" She warned, with a jab ofher finger in his direction, before she started to sprinting up the stairs. 'I bet it's Katie…' she thought grimly.**

**She finally reached the top step. Her feet felt strange under her, differently shaped than she was used too, and she tripped a bit. 'No wonder Tohru trips so much! She has weird feet!' Jess whipped her head around frantically. 'Where is Kyo's room!' She ran over to a door to her right and opened it only to reveal a room stacked full of books and other clutter. 'Shoot… ok, calm down, Jess. This isn't even an emergency. Just take a few deep breaths and try to remember where Kyo's room is…'The lightbulb went off in her head andshe remembered Tohru telling Shishou how to get to Kyo's room. She bounded towards the end of the hallway. **

"**Ka—I mean Kyo! Are you in there!" She knocked loudly on the door but there was no reply. 'Damn… did I get the wrong door?" Jess was about to start searching the other rooms in the hallway when she heard a whimper… a very masculine wimper. **

"**Kyo…?" She slowly eased the door open to reveal Kyo, his head hidden under his pillow and his bottom sticking up in the air. The sight was so comical that she burst out laughing. **

**_I can't figure out how to get a line in here so... if someone could tell me... we're now switching to Katie's viewpoint!_**

**As soon as Katie had seen her reflection in the mirror and let out a scream she had dived under the pillow on her bed. For a few moments she had simply lain there, trembling. Then, as her heart had started to calm down, she had realized that it was either a dream or just another oddincident like the one that had occurred the previous night. She had taken a few deep breaths and then sat on the edge of the bed. Katie had almost worked up the courage to go look at her reflection again when a clamorous knock had startled her so much that she'd hidden again. Hearing laughter she had peeked out and, when seeing that it was just Tohru, sheepishly removed herself from her hiding place and returned to her perch on the side of the bed.**

**Tohru must have been laughing for at least a minute when she finally wiped her eyes of the teardrops that had collected there and sat next to Katie on the mattress.**

"**Yep. You're definitely Katie. Freak!" Tohru shoved Katie in the shoulder so hard that she fell back.**

"**Hey!" Katie righted herself and stared suspiciously at Tohru. "Jess….?" **

"**Mm-hmm?" Jess looked expectantly at her, smiling in amusement. "Can I help you?"**

"**HOLY CANOLI! JESS!" Katie jumped up and pointed a finger at the small brown-haired girl sitting before her.**

**Jess got up and said exasperatedly, "Yeah, it's me. Now get over it."**

"**B-but…" Katie grinned mischievously. "I'm _taller_ than you."**

"**Oh, shut up!" Jess aimed a sharp kick at Katie's shin.**

"**Ow!" Katie sunk back down onto the bed, holding her shin. "You didn't have to do that!"**

"**Yes. I did." Jess rolled her eyes and began to walk around the room. "Ok… now what's our plan of action."**

"**Action?" Katie asked, with tears still quivering on her orange eyelashes. **

"**Oh, come one! You're a grown… man," Jess snorted.**

"**Shut up!… meanie." Katie rubbed her leg. "And what exactly do you mean by 'plan of action'! Usually I'm a ditzy little girl! I mean for goodness sake my hair is brown! Not orange! And I'm sorry but I'd much rather have my blue eyes back than be all… reddish." Katie pointed to one of her eyes with her free hand.**

"**Trust me. I'd rather have my hair back too… but we shouldn't be worrying about appearances right now. What are we going to do?" Jess began pacing back and forth.**

"**Well… we can't _do_ anything. If we do we could change the story so… I guess we'll just have to _do_ everything that our characters are supposed to…"**

**Jess stopped and faced Katie, "Yeah! It sounds like we're right before the sixth book so… let's do it."**

"**Yeah!" Katie stood up and punched the air with her fist. Then she sunk quickly back down onto the bed, "Ow! Leg. Still. Hurts." **

"**Baby…" Jess mumbled.**

**Yuki walked tentatively into the doorway. "Uh… are you guys going to get ready for school or not?" **

**Both girls looked at each other and then at the boy standing in the doorway. "School?"**

"**Well, yeah… are you sick or something?"**

"**Oh, no! Of course not," Katie laughed nervously. "Right, Tohru? …Tohru!"**

"**Huh? Me? Oh, yeah! School! Fun, fun! Be right there!"**

**Yuki raised an eyebrow. "You two have been acting _very_ oddly this morning…" He quickly retreated to his own room and soon the sound of opening drawers could be heard as he changed into his uniform.**

**Jess started towards the door. "Well I suppose I'll go change then. Now where was my room…" She started to close the door when the sound of Kyo's voice stopped her.**

"**Um… problem." Katie muttered uncomfortably from her bed.**

"**What? I'm sure Kyo's uniform won't be that hard to find…" **

"**No… it's just… Kyo's a… _guy_."**

"**So…"**

"**Well… I have to get _changed_."**

"**Oooooh! Damn… some girls get all the luck!"**

"**Jess!"**

"**Well, it's true!"**

"**But what do I do?" Katie whined.**

"**Oh, grow up! Just close your eyes or something."**

"**But…"**

"**You're the one who said we'd better do what they did in the manga. And staying in your PJs is definitely not something Kyo did."**

"**Darn my good sense of reasoning…"**

**_End of Chapter_**

**Katie: FINISHED!**

**Jess: Finally another chapter! **

**Katie: Well this is your New Year's present!**

**Jess: Aww, thanks, Katie! … Katie? Where'd you go…?**

**Kyo: I think she went over there.(points)**

**Jess: KYO! (glomps Kyo)**

**Kyo: (turns into cute-adorable-kitty-cat)**

**Katie: I turn my back for one minute… Jeez, I was just planning a different fanfic…**

**Jess: You'd better not--!**

**Katie: Write it faster? Don't worry I won't!**

**Kyo: She will too.**

**Katie: (glares) Don't tell her! **

**  
**


	5. On the Road Home

Katie: (sitting at her computer and typing)

(Jaws theme song begins playing)

Katie: (slowly turns around) AHHHH! (falls off chair)

Jess: (rofl) HAHA! I scared you!

Katie: What are you doing in my house!

Jess: Well, I was bringing _her_ in.

Megan: Hey, Kitty.

Katie: Meggie! Now we can really confuse anyone reading this! All my best friends in one spot! Oh the joy!

Jess: Yeah, okay. We can worry about introducing her later. Now… why aren't you writing my fic?

Katie: Umm… homework…?

Jess: (glare) If you don't stop writing this ridiculously long AN right now I'll show you homework right down your--!

Katie: Okay, okay! (whimpers)

_**Chapter 5: On the Road Home**_

Jess walked next to Yuki, stepping over all of the cracks in the sidewalk. The rain spread salt-and-pepper patterns all over the white cement as she adjusted the rolled up umbrella that she had propped over her shoulder.

"You know… Honda-san, maybe you should use the umbrella. I don't want you to get a cold or anything." Yuki peered down at her with a concerned tone in his soft voice.

"I'm not gonna get sick. It's just rain." Jess looked around, "It's a pretty dreary day… Hey! Where's Kyo!" She looked to both sides frantically. 'Did I lose Katie! She's such a ditz! I always have to watch her!'

Yuki tapped her on the shoulder to gain her attention. "He's back there." He said pointing to Katie, who was spinning around in circles with her face upturned.

"Ka—Kyo! What the hell are you doing!" Jess shielded her eyes to get a better look at the spinning cloud of orange (Me: I'm sorry… I couldn't help it… just visualize Kyo spinning around in the rain…).

Katie stopped spinning and swung her arms back and forth happily. "I'm catching raindrops on my tongue! It's really fun! I'm sort of tired though." She put a damp hand to her soaking wet hair.

"Well, duh! You're--" Jess glared at Yuki for a moment and then ran over to Katie. She stood on tiptoe ad whispered in Kyo's ear, "You're the cat! And start acting more normal!"

"But… I am acting normal…" Katie's brilliant comment was rewarded with a sharp rap on the head. "Ow!"

"I mean normal for Kyo! Not you!"

"Well… you could start acting more like Tohru…" Was Katie's weak retort. "You're so abusive… I can't figure out why I'm friends with you…"

Jess smiled coldly, "Because otherwise I would have killed you and your perkiness by now."

"Well that doesn't really makes sense—I mean, yes, sir! I mean, ma'am! Ow! Stop hitting me!"

Yuki stared at Tohru and Kyo arguing in hissing whispers. What was going _on_ with these two! "Hey, guys! We really should be getting home."

"Fine!" Jess snarled. "Control freak…" She added in a mumble.

"Oh! Sorry! Be right there!" And in an added whisper, "Jess! Be nice!"

Yuki turned away and started walking again so as to avoid showing them his expression. Yes. There was _definitely_ something going on.

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She strained to see the three teenagers that were do home soon. A few minutes later she was gratified by a bright orange color appearing through the leaves of some high foliage near the edge of the forest. "They're home!" A bright squeal emitted from the girl, "Kyo-kun!"

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Jess dropped her schoolbag on the ground. "Thank god! We're finally home!"

Yuki watched in a state of amusement as Kyo turned on his heel and reprimanded Tohru. "Don't use the Lord's name in vain!" Kyo then proceeded to open the door "Home Sweet--" but was interrupted by a happy proclamation of, "Kyo-kun!"

Katie blinked, "Oh! Hi, Kagura! It's nice to see you."

Jess walked up to Katie with barely concealed laughter, "Katie. You're Kyo."

Katie blinked. "Oh, dear."

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Katie: Ok, _now_, can I tell them about Megan!

Jess: Shh! I'm reading your damn story!

Maris: I'll help.

Katie: NO! You'll confuse everyone more ;;

Jess: (sigh) Let me help. Maris is like Momiji and Megan…

Katie: Is like Rin with a ditzy side!

Megan: Hey! That's so mean! We've known each other since 1st grade!

Jess: …what does that have to do with anything?

Maris: Shh! I think Katie is trying to subtly tell the readers things about us without outright saying it.

Hiro: Yeah. Real subtle.

All: 0.0;;

Katie: Why do these guys keep popping up? (grabs Hiro) Well, we'll just keep you here until next time! Maybe we can get Kisa to come to…

Meggie: I think it'd be cooler to get Haru or Yuki…

Maris: No! Momiji!

Jess: (coughKYOcough) Well see everyone next time in Chapter 6!

**  
**


	6. Moms Can Drive a Person Crazy

Katie: (evil grin)

Jess: …

Katie: (eviler grin)

Jess: What the hell is wrong with you?

Katie: I'm going to confuse everybody! (evil laugh)

Kyo: You've already confused everyone. Well… at least Tohru…

Tohru: Huh! Wha? No! I'm not confused! R-really!

Jess: Well it's not like it's hard to confuse her…

Katie: Toh…ru….(glomps!)

Chapter 6 

Tohru rolled over in her sleep. Her eyes fluttered open to reveal a girl lying next to her. For a moment Tohru didn't think anything of it but then she realized that she didn't usually have someone sleeping next to her. _'That's odd…' _she tried not to panic; maybe she new this girl but had just forgotten?

She stared at the girl, trying to find something familiar about her… _'Well… she seems to be a little bit younger…so… maybe she goes to school with Kisa?' _But that didn't really help! As much as Tohru tried she couldn't remember ever meeting a girl with short brown hair… not one that she knew personally, anyway.

Tohru grew very still as the girl mumbled something in her sleep. She leaned closer to try and hear.

"Ka…gura… go away." The brown haired girl's brows furrowed. After a bit more mumbling that was along the lines of begging for mercy her face relaxed and a slight smile slowly spread across her face. "…salmon."

Tohru sat up and stared at the girl. What was going on! This girl knew Kagura! And she liked salmon! _'Don't I know someone else like that…?' _Tohru stared at the wall and though. Hard.

Suddenly, the girl's eyes snapped open.

Tohru looked down at the girl and gave her a welcoming smile, "Oh! Hello! Good morning, my name is--"

She was interrupted by a startled (and relatively rude) comment from the girl, "What the hell are you doing in my bed!"

Tohru looked alarmed, "Uh, um…Th-this is your bed? I'm so sorry! I just woke up and I was here…" She looked around the girlish room. "Your room is very pretty by the way."

The girl stared at her, "What the hell? My room is not…," the girl glanced a painted butterfly. "Crap. My room is pretty… Wait a second! This isn't my room! What the hell is going on here!"

Tohru got up and went to go inspect a pair of drawers, "I-I have no idea…" She looked up and caught her reflection in the mirror.

She screamed.

The girl got up quickly from the bed, "What hap--"

A voice from downstairs called, "Girls? Is everything all right?"

The girl screamed back at her as Tohru stood their, helplessly staring into the mirror, "Dammit! I am _not_ a girl!"

"Young lady! Get down here this instant!" The voice sounded outraged.

"I'll be right back." The girl muttered. She walked out of the door and looked around. After a moment of getting herself oriented she headed down the stairs.

Tohru just stared into the mirror.

After a few minutes if muffled scolding the girl slumped back up the stairs and back into the girly room, shutting the door behind her. "I just got yelled at by some woman… that I've never met." She sat down on the bed.

Tohru just stared into the mirror.

"What's the matter? You got a zit or somethin'?" The girl laughed at her own joke. "…why does my laugh sound different… damn, I sound like a girl!" The girl looked up as though expecting Tohru to respond. "Hey! What is wrong with you?" She got up and shook Tohru's shoulder.

For the first time in five minutes Tohru spoke, "I look different…"

"Huh?" The girl looked into the mirror as well to see what she was talking about. "You don't look any dif… HOLY HELL! I'm a girl!" The girl stumbled back.

"YOUNG LADY! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CURSING? GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!"

The girl went downstairs again. She had a glazed look that matched Tohru's on her face. After another few minutes she came back up. Then she sat in the ground and rocked back and forth. "I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl."

Tohru turned to look at her. "I look different," she repeated.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… I don't look like this," indicating her reflection. "I-I'm not even a blonde."

The girl looked at the reflections in the mirror. "You sure look like a blonde to me…" Her gaze shifted, "And I am definitely not a girl." She flopped down on the bed. "WHY ME?"

"YOUNG LADY!"

The girl winced, "Sorry!"

Tohru walked over and sat next to the girl, "So… you're a guy? What's your name?"

The girl looked at her suspiciously, "Mmm… Kyo."

Tohru got up, shocked. "N-no!"

Kyo sat up, "What's wrong?" He was very confused, did this girl know him?

"Y-you can't be Kyo…," when she got no response from him she pointed to herself. "I-I'm Tohru!"

Kyo got up and joined her, "Tohru? Now way! You can't be!"

Tohru nodded slowly.

"Well then… prove it." He crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Huh? Well… uh… you don't like leeks…"

Kyo raised an eyebrow hesitantly, "Yeah, well… anyone could know that."

Tohru looked desperately at him, what would happen if he didn't believe her? "But… um, I don't know what else to… OH!" Tohru smiled. "I know! You're the cat of the zodiac!"

His eyes widened in disbelief, "Tohru? It is you! So… what are we doing here?"

"I-I don't know…"

They both turned and stared at their reflections in the mirror.

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Kyo: I'm… a girl…

Katie: You're me!

Tohru: And I'm Jess!

Jess: Oh god… why me?

Meredith: I think… you've confused everybody enough, Kate.

Katie: YAY! It's Mer! (shouting) HEY, HIRO!

Hiro: What do you want?

Katie: This is my friend Mer! She's just like Kisa so I figured you two might get along!

Jess: Is this part of your plan to make him social?

Katie: YES!

Mer and Hiro: (stare at each other)

Mer: (Hugs) Hiro-chan!

Jess and Kyo: Wow… she really is like Kisa…

Katie and Tohru: KAWAI! She's adorable!

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There Naive Goth! That's what is going on with Kyo and Tohru! Oh, and guys! Thank you so much for reading! cries I feel so... I dunno! Just thank you! And please keep reviewing! It gives me the motivation to keep writing! And tell me whether you want the next chapter to be Tohru and Kyo or Jess and Katie!


	7. Dating is for Boars

Katie: (steam coming out of ears)

Mer: Umm… Katie?

Katie: Ya know what I hate?

Jess: … why is she all illiterate?

Meg: Shoot… she's mad!

Katie: ALL OF YOU SHUT IT!

All: EEP!

Maris:… um Katie…? What happened that was so bad?

Katie: I'll tell you what happened! Someone decided to almost sorta flame my story!

Jess: Let it be known that Katie hates it when people flame. Even a little.

Danni: Oh, dear!

Katie: A so called 'dumpsta', what a lovely name, said '**You know what would be even more interesting? Two guys being thrown into the world of Fruits Basket, now that's original.**' Not even a 'pretty good job' in there! Or a 'I hate your story!' They could have at least told me what they think of the story I actually wrote! Instead of randomly telling me what would be better or more interesting than this story, which I have put my sweat and tears into!

Jess: I think guys are idiots…

Meg: I second that!

Katie: I know! And why would it be more interesting! HUH! I couldn't write about some stupid guys anyway! Because I'm a girl! A G-I-R-L! I. Do. Not. Understand. Men. Got it? Good! But here! I'll write your damn story just to make you happy:

_**Playing The Idiots**_

_Once upon a time there were two guys who were friends. Somehow they got thrown into the world of Fruits Basket. Who knows how? Most guys don't even read it. And besides I would never write this fanfic because I'm writing 'Playing God' for my FRIENDS (Not that you would understand) who I have made the main characters. But I digress…_

_So these two friends, Ryan and Brian, get drawn into this book and have some random adventure that wouldn't be funny because they don't have as many characters that they could turn into (hinthint: guys changing into girls and vice versa in much more humorous). So they would have some random adventure with no depth because I am not able to understand the inner emotions of men all that well. Then Ryan and Brian died. THE END._

Katie: HAPPY!

All: Behold the wrath of Katie.

_**Chapter 7**_

Katie watched with horror as Kagura skipped closer. Jess finally couldn't hold in the insane laughter that was bubbling up inside of her. It came out in a large explosion, which made Yuki jump about ten feet into the air. Somehow, although she felt sure that her doom was near, Katie's spirit seemed to separate from her body, and, watching the scene from afar, realized how hilarious this must seem to someone who might be watching from the forest. A boy frozen to his spot by a skipping girl, another boy getting over an adrenalin rush, and a girl who could barely breath from laughing. Her inner self couldn't help but find it amusing.

Katie narrowed her eyes and made herself return to the present. 'Ok… I don't want to be strangled… just focus on that.' She grabbed onto the door and banged it closed.

All movement around her ceased and she felt a sigh of release rising when, all of a sudden, she heard Kagura make a very angry grunting sound.

"Katie, you idiot!" Jess hissed in her ear. And then, more loudly, "you shouldn't close the door on Kagura, of all people!" Jess clenched the door and slid it open quickly.

There was a bright rainbow-arc of color and then a large _splat_ting noise. All three looked down. Kagura was lying there, face down in the mud, thrown there by her own strength.

"I'm so sorry, Kagura-san!" Katie said anxiously as Kagura emerged from the bathroom, freshly washed.

Kagura smiled happily at the attention. "Oh no, Kyo-kun, dearest! It was just some mud. It was all worth it for love." She hung onto Kyo's arm adoringly.

"Umm…." Katie stared down at her new limb and gulped. She kept forgetting that she was Kyo.

Jess walked in with the tea that she had just made. When everything had finally quieted down and Kagura was in the bathroom Jess had figured that making tea was the kind of thing that Tohru would probably do at a time like this. She grinned when she saw Kagura hanging onto Kyo like he was a life-raft in the middle of a stormy ocean. Jess knew that her smile would be easily passed off as typical Tohru pleasantness, although Katie just glared at her.

"So, Kagura," Jess spoke pleasantly as she set down the tray. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, nothing really! I'm just here to see my Kyo-kun!" She turned to Katie with a brilliant smile.

Katie attempted to smile back, although it looked a lot more as if she had just sat on a pinecone, "Yay…?"

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Shigure peeked through the small hole in the door of his studio, which conveniently showed a good view of the living room. At the moment he was spying on Kagura hanging onto Kyo. _'Now… how will I get her out of here? I don't want my house broken again. No, definitely not.'_ The many broken doors came back to haunt him and he shuddered dramatically.

'_I know! I will give Kyo-chan to her!' _He mouthed these words and struck a dramatic pose with one hand on his hip and the other pointed towards the heavens.

Just because he didn't have an audience at the moment certainly didn't mean he didn't have to practice for when he did have one!

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Shigure's office door swung open just as an awkward pause had settled over the four teenagers (Yuki had joined them at the table). They all turned to stare at the man who came in a bit too bubbly and happy for the tension-filled atmosphere that was covering the room.

The man stopped in mid-leap and straightened up with a stiff brush at his robe.

"What are you doing?" Jess asked exasperatedly.

"Just adjusting to the mood, my dear…" He turned to her with a confused look, "…Tohru-kun…? My, my… you are starting to sound more like Kyo everyday…"

"Damn cat ruins everything…" Yuki said under his breath, thus receiving a glare from Jess. For the millionth time that day his world turned upside down. _'Everything today has been so weird…'_

"Anyway!" Shigure shook himself, a bit like a dog drying off. "I came to ask if Kagura would like to take Kyo on a little date."

Kagura's eyes grew wide. "A date…?"

"I-I don't know if that's such a good idea…" Katie started backing away. Slowly.

"Yes! A date! I think Tohru needs some groceries for dinner. Why don't you go get them for her," Shigure made sure to put on his widest smile.

For a moment there was silence. And then:

"Oh! Me? Groceries! Sure!" Jess dug around in Tohru's apron pocket and pulled out a little bit of paper. "No, wait… this is that picture of a squirrel." Everyone stared at her. "Umm… Hana…chan?" At that the stares eased to a mere look. "Ah! Here it is!" She handed the grocery list to Kagura and then froze, _'Crap! I sound like Tohru!' _

"Oh, thank you, Tohru!" Kagura looked like a giddy high school girl… which she was. Then she turned to Katie with an evil glint in her eye. "LET'S GO!" She grabbed Katie around the neck and ran out of the door and down the path.

"Goodness me! It seems that we're rid of her!" Shigure said with one of his signature smiles.

"Yeah. Whatever." Jess was converting back into Mean Mode.

"Wait, Tohru-kun!" Shigure sang as he grabbed onto her arm.

She turned around with a murderous glint in her eyes, "Don't touch me you pervert."

He let go of her like he was playing hot potato and waved her off nervously, "Ho ho! Tohru-kun you really are a riot!" He smiled and sweat-dropped, _'My god, she's PMSing! Our sweet little flower!' _"But would you like to go on… let's call it a date, with Yuki-kun here?"

"No."

"But, Honda-san!" Yuki made sure he was loud enough to block out any useless babbling that Shigure might spew. "I was planning on going to the secret base. And… you don't want to be in the house alone with Shigure do you?"

They both turned to look at the smiling man. He seemed like he was daydreaming, completely oblivious to the world.

Shigure closed his eyes and imagined his latest plan to torture his author. _'…and then I'll shut her in a room and lock the door. And their will be a hidden tape player that I shall record my voice on, and it shall say 'I am sorry Mii but I am busy and cannot make the deadline' over and over… until she goes completely crazy.'_

He was interrupted from his daydream by a loud "Fine!" from Tohru as she stomped out the door.

"But I don't want to go, you damn rat!" she added over her shoulder.

Yuki and Shigure both stared after her, _'PMSing…'_

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Katie: HAPPY YEAR OF THE PUPPY!

Jess: You're a day late…

Katie: I know.

Maris: So why didn't you just say that in yesterday's chapter?

Katie: …Because I forgot.

Shigure: (**gasp**)

Meggie: Pervert.

Mer: That's not very nice, Meg!

Danni: Oh… so that's why you were saying 'Happy year of the Dog!' all day… OKEYDOKEY!

Katie: (crying) Why are my friends so weird?

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Okay... I edited the chapter. I was going to take out the beginning where I was being all... mad. I'm not really sure why that review bothered me, but it certainly tugged some sort of straw. Taking it out seems a bit cowardly as well. Eh, it's not that big a deal. I just feel kind of bad about it... Oct. 3, 2006


	8. Deja Vu

Akito: …

Katie: Akii-chan! (glomps)

Jess, Meggie, Maris, and Mer: Traitor!

Jess: What the hell is wrong with you!

Katie: What..? Oh! I didn't send you the last chapter summary did I? Sorry!

Meggie: Yes…you did send it.

Katie: Then what's the matter.

Akito: You're… suffocating… me…

Jess: Good.

Maris: We don't like Akito!

Katie: But that was before we knew her sad past! Now I understand how she feels! (glomps tighter)

Akito: (dying from loss of air)

Mer: Well… if you understand her then I'll try and understand her too!

J, Meg, Ma: (glares)

_**Chapter 8**_

"Dammit! This makes no sense!" Kyo slammed his hand down at the mattress. Tohru paused in her quest to carve a hole in the floor with her feet (_(AN: YAY! Pacing!))_ and sighed.

"I know. But there has to be some reason why we're here." She bit her lip and looked around, desperate to find something that help them. "Kyo-kun…."

"What?" He snapped at her. When he saw the look on her face he rose to his feet, "Did you find something?"

"Kyo-kun…" Tohru sounded absolutely fascinated. He followed her gaze and to a small metal bookshelf.

"I said WHAT!"

"Kyo-kun…" Just when he was about to scream at her she reached out towards the bookcase and withdrew a book. "This… this looks just like you." She turned the book around so that he could see it's cover.

Kyo's eyes widened to about the size of one of Neptune's moons. He staggered up off the bed and snatched the book from her hand. "Wh-what the hell!"

Tohru snatched it back, surprising him. She flipped through the pages rapidly; her eyes moving just as quickly. "Look!" The page she held up contained a picture of a fight with Hatsuharu that would take Kyo a long time to forget. Before he could do anything she was reading the bubbles. "Oh… I didn't know he said that." She proclaimed, pointing.

"Gimme that!" Kyo rolled his eyes and grabbed the book. "…this is all stuff that has happened to us." He grabbed another book and flipped through it as well. "This one too!" Just as he was about to grab another the door flew open.

"Oh, girls! Don't pollute your mind with that useless trash!" Katie's mother shook her head and crossed her arms impatiently, "You should both be ready by now!"

"Umm… what?" Kyo blurted out.

"Katie! I know you don't like to shop but you still have to go but a dress for Meredith's Bat Mitzvah! And you know perfectly well that Jess here has her gymnastics class in an hour." Her voice turned warm at the last.

"Oh… right." Kyo smiled and nodded, "Wait! WHAT? A DRESS?"

Katie's mom just nodded curtly and left, closing the door behind her.

Kyo clenched his fists, "Can you believe her?" He turned to where Tohru had stood. "Tohru…" She was sifting through a drawer.

"What are you doing?" Never in a million years had Kyo imagined Tohru looking through someone else's drawers.

"You heard her!" Tohru sang with a grin. "We need to get ready!"

"Hell no!"

"Why not?" She turned to him, cocking her head.

"Because I am NOT going to wear a dress! EVER!"

"But you're a girl… I'm sure you'll look really cute!"

"I don't care how 'cute' I look! And you cannot do gymnastics."

"But I can always try!"

He threw his hands in the air. "No! You can't! You. Will. Die."

She flopped down onto her butt. "I-I will!"

"YES! You fall when you're walking and thinking at the same time!"

"But… don't people always have to think?" Tohru raised her hand to her head and banged it against the drawer. "Owwie!"

"SEE! You can't even think and sit at the same time! You would be a danger to society if you tried to do any type of gymnastics! Or anything with the word 'gym' in it for that matter."

Tohru sniffed sadly, "Y-you're right… I'm hopeless." She started to cry.

"Th… that's not what I meant! You can do whatever you want to…" He looked to the side, embarrassed and blushing.

Tohru clapped her hands together, "Yay! I can't wait!" She giggled and started shuffling through the drawer again. "Oh!" She held up a pink shirt with a kitten on it. "You should wear this!"

"No."

"But it has a kitty on it! Just like you!"

"It's pink." He didn't bother protesting the kitten part; he knew it wouldn't work.

"Yes but that looks so good with that complexion." She gestured toward his new body.

"No."

"Please? For me?"

He caved in to the puppy dog eyes.

"Fine."

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Katie: Sorry for the short chapter but I'm tired! I was planning a chapter with Tohru already at gymnastics but it was too hard…

Maris: It take those classes too!

Katie: Yup! That's why I decided to have her go there!

Mer: But… I'm not having a Bat Mitzvah…

Katie: I know…

Meggie: Who cares! I'm not in it!

Katie: You will be! It might help if you actually read the fic though -.-

Jess: She hasn't read it! (hits Meggie with Platypus of Dooooooooooom!) If you think Meggie should read this… then review and tell me to make her read it! Trust me… I can.

Katie: I would get on a plane to Australia now Meggie…

Meggie: Ay, ay, captain!

Quick Note: My mom isn't actually mean. She's about the sweetest person ever! She does despise manga though… even though she told me she read Superman comics when she was little! What the heck!


	9. Bathrooms and Dressing Rooms

Tohru: Katie wishes she could be here to join us but unfortunately she's busy with her homework… 

Jess: or making her own personalized Google homepage…

Maris: or staying at school till 7:30 for choir…

Meggie: or fooling around with Pandora…

Mer: or trying to figure out how she's going to have three characters with M names in her story…

Danni: or generally procrastinating…

Kyo: Basically she admits that she's a complete butt and would like to apologize for the long hiatus Playing God has been on. …why did you give me that line?

Katie: Because it's fun to make you sound like a kiss up.

_**Chapter 18**_

"All right, girls! Hussle up!"

Tohru glanced around nervously as the chattering groups of girls broke up and started to converge in the middle of the gym, surrounding their teacher. She was just about to ask one of the passing girls where they were going when another dark-haired girl came gasping through the door. When she saw where everyone was heading she grimaced and exclaimed, "Late again!"

The late girl ran forward. "C'mon, Jess, what are you waiting for?" She stopped in front of Tohru.

"Uh…" Tohru cast about for something to say. "Oh! Wait, I'm Jess, right?"

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Unless you got a name change. Let's _go_, we're late!" She got a grip on Tohru's elbow and began to tug.

"Um… uh… what's your name?" Tohru asked uncertainly.

"Jess," the girl turned to roll her eyes at her. "How long have we known each other now? I'm not going to walk right into whatever weird stuff you're trying to pull."

"No, really, I--" but they had reached the circle of girls and were already starting to get strange looks. Tohru gulped and quieted down.

One of the girls standing in front of them turned around and smirked. "What's wrong with you?" She snarled at Tohru. "Does Miss Perfect need her mommy?"

Tohru blinked. "Um… I'm not perfect. Not at all."

The girl wrinkled her nose and snorted unattractively. "Why don't you go and tell that to--"

"Would you just shut up already," the dark-haired girl spat as she went to stand next to Tohru. And by the look on her face it didn't look like she was best friends with this other girl.

"Oh… stay out of it!" The nasty girl said weakly, clearly having trouble coming up with fresh insults.

"Well that was--" the dark-haired girl began.

"Girls! Be quiet and face me!" The gymnastics coach had her hands on her hips and didn't seem to be in the best of moods. "We're about to start stretching."

"Yes, ma'am," both girls mumbled unhappily.

A few moments passed and the girls began to spread out and begin their stretches. Tohru followed the dark-haired girl over to a group of three other girls.

"Hi, Jess. How's your 'situation' going?" The girl nearest Tohru inquired.

"Oh… fine." Tohru glanced around the room. They were all so… _flexible_. There was no way that she could do that! '_WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!'_

The dark-haired girl seemed to notice how agitated she was. "You doin' okay over there?"

Before Tohru had the chance to answer another girl interjected with "Maris, she's probably just having guy troubles. Right?" She added with a wink towards Tohru.

Tohru ignored the boy comment. Or tried to. "Oh, so your name is Maris? It's very nice to meet you!" She exclaimed pleasantly, extending a hand towards her.

They all stared at her.

"…"

"Maybe something really _is _wrong with her."

"Did you… hurt yourself or something?"

Maris remained silent, one eyebrow raised. There was something _very _strange going on. Jess hadn't even made a come-back when Abby insulted her. And Maris was sure that, even if she was sick, Jess wouldn't miss that chance.

Tohru looked around even more nervously, if that were possible, after her slip up. Her eyes stopped on Maris, who hadn't said a word but was looking at her curiously.

"Are you planning on stretching? Or are you too afraid of breaking a nail?" An authoritative voice sounded behind her.

"I-I'm very sorry! I'll get right to it!" She quickly stuttered. Following the lead of another girl across the room, Tohru slipped very carefully into a stretch . To her surprise her body didn't protest at all, and, satisfied, the coach swept off to scold another girl for giggling to loudly.

'This is amazing!' Tohru thought as she tried more stretches, being less cautious each time. 'I didn't know my body was able to do this!' But then again, it wasn't her body. Best not to think about that. It was too disturbing, and felt kind of like being forced into a pair of really old bowling shoes. Who knew what kind of person, or _people_ for all she knew, had been in this body before. She knew she shouldn't really judge… but she hoped that they at least used deodorant.

Just as Tohru was about to enter a stretch that would allow her to casually sniff her underarms, the whistle blew again, causing several girls to wince.

"All right!" The coach screamed again (Tohru was beginning to wonder how she didn't lose her voice). "Time for warm-ups!"

Tohru watched in horror as everyone began to do all sorts of advanced gymnastics moves. She hadn't even known the human body was _capable_ of half of them.

"Let's go." Maris whispered in her ear.

"Huh? Where?" Tohru said in a loud voice that made Maris hush her.

"To the bathroom, of course!"

"The… bathroom? What are we going to do in the bath--?"

"Come on! _Hurry_!" Maris started quickly towards the bathroom and Tohru, not wanting to be left behind among all of the gymnasts, followed.

The coach, watching them go, thought ruefully, _'kids these days, no bladder control whatsoever!'_

"I think Alyssa is there already." Maris added as they reached the door. She reached out and rapped on the door then added, in a whisper, "It's us."

The door opened just enough to allow them in and they slipped quickly through. Maris and Alyssa both giggled quietly.

"Never gets old!"

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Kyo stood utterly still, staring into the mirror with wide eyes.

"Honey? How does it look?"

He gaped at his reflection. No. Just… no. This was wrong. Oh, so wrong.

"Katie? Are you going to come out and show me?"

A hoarse squeaky 'no' escaped his lips. It didn't even sound like him. Wait… he wasn't him. Which was why he was in this _thing_. This thing that looked like some sort of cake made by a baker on steroids.

"Katie." He heard Mrs. Katie's Mom exclaim exasperatedly from the other side of the dressing room door. "I promise no one is going to laugh at you. You're fifteen! I _wish_ I had your stomach!"

He wasn't even going to bother to answer. It had been traumatic enough _undressing_ a complete stranger and now he was in… this.

"I'm coming in."

"No--!"

Mrs. Katie's Mom burst into the little stall and gasped, her hand over her mouth. "Oh, it looks wonderful on you!" She reached out and turned Kyo in a little circle so she could see how the back looked. "You don't even need a slip because the material is thick enough. I know how you hate slips. So… do you like it? I told you when we found it that it would look fabulous!"

Kyo stared, stricken, back at the woman. Was she _insane_? This was one of the most hideous dresses he had ever seen! He glanced back at his reflection. But this time he didn't see a gross amount of lace and frills covering the small body of a mousy girl. No… it really wasn't all _that_ bad. In fact, if he wasn't the one wearing it he would probably like it. There weren't that many frills…

"Well… it's better than the purple one. I guess…" He muttered grudgingly.

Mrs. Katie's Mom nodded happily and hummed in agreement. "This color pink really does suit you. But…" She frowned, reached out, and plucked at Kyo's bra strap.

Kyo screeched. Loudly. Everyone in the store turned and stared at him and he could feel his cheeks burning. That was another odd thing about this body, everything seemed to make it blush… not that he was any stranger to blushing.

"Honey, what's wrong? Is there a spider?" Mrs. Katie's Mom looked around on the floor to see if there were any gargantuan, arachnid menace.

Kyo glared at her. "You just… accosted me!"

Mrs. Katie's Mom stood blinking at him for a moment. "Young _lady_." She breathed huffily. "I was about to explain to you that we needed to go buy you a strapless for this dress. I did not harass you at all."

Kyo shook his head to unfog his brain. "Just… never mind. What's a… a strapless?"

Mrs. Katie's Mom let out a little laugh. "Very funny, dear. Honestly, what is wrong with you today?" She shook her head a bit and gave Kyo a little shove back in the direction of the changing room. "Go take this off so I can pay for it and we'll go down to the lingerie section."

Kyo rolled his eyes at the push, closed and locked the door, and began to remove the rose-colored dress. He sighed as he pulled on the pink t-shirt that Tohru had insisted on him wearing. Really… that girl was ridiculous.

His eyes widened.

"Wait… did she say," he looked in horror at the closed door. "_Lingerie?_"

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Katie: I had to cut this chapter in half.

Jess: … why? It's not all that long.

Katie: I wanted to get this out (finally) so I kept working on it. And the thing just kept getting… longer… and… and longer! It was crazy! It grew to eight pages and I wasn't even done yet! AGH! It just became six pages!

Jess: What is up with this phobia of having a longer chapter? Six pages isn't all that much…

Katie: But this is Playing God! My warranty says that it can't have even remotely long chapters!

Kyo: That… makes no sense. Warranty? What are you. Stupid?

Katie: YES! (sobs)

Jess: (smacks Kyo) Thanks a lot. You just had to do this _now_ of all times, didn't you?

Kyo: Er… what do you mean?

Jess: She either barely got any sleep or is just being… stupid. She's always being stupid about her writing. I guess she could be PMSing…

Kyo: Ew!

Jess: Oh, grow up.

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I'm having so much fun making all the adults in this story horribly stereotypical. I'm sorry if you're offended by it but it's all meant in good fun. I'm sort of trying to make fun of the stereotypes… ok, no. Using them is just fun. I am _so _surprised no one has flamed this story yet. It's horribly unoriginal (yet again, on purpose). But once again… I'm being sarcastic the whole time.


	10. Spearmint and Strawberries

**The first burst of spring air has inspired me to finally finish this chapter. That and Jess' death threat. **

_My piano teacher is currently in the hospital. This chapter is dedicated to her._

Katie: Yay! I finally have some time to write.

Jess: You act as if I didn't have to strap you down to a chair.

Katie: …

Jess: And have you dictate.

Katie: Well, how was I supposed to write with my arms all tied up?

Jess: You could've just written the chapter in the first place.

Katie: But—

Jess: Enough with the excuses already! Just write the damn chapter!

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**_Chapter 10_**

"Codfish. Ew." Katie scrunched up her nose and reached cautiously into the super market freezer. "I hate fish…"

"You do?" Kagura asked, surprised. "I thought you liked codfish…"

"Uh, sure." Katie said with a smile as she gingerly dropped the package into the hand basket. "What's next on the list?"

"Let's see…" Kagura began to walk, or rather bounce gaily, down the aisle as she dashed codfish off the grocery list and looked up the next item. "Tohru needs some… thing…" She blushed and giggled. "But I won't tell you what it is, Kyo-kun, or you'll be embarrassed."

Katie attempted to smile. _So this is how guys' feel when girls are all… secretive._ "Er… 'kay then. I'll go get whatever's after that while you get 'the thing.'"

Kagura laughed and punched Katie's arm "playfully" passing the list on to "Kyo." Katie winced, took the list, and proceeded down to aisle 5 as she rubbed her arm. 'Great… now I'm going to have a bruise. I'm sure Kyo will be a little bundle of joy when he gets back. If he gets back.' She stopped in the middle of the can aisle and wailed. A mother who had been trying to stop her small son from grabbing Chef Boyardee off the shelf and muttering "Damn those commercials", stopped and stared. She straightened up and pushed her son down to the end of the aisle.

"Some people never grow up." She said sniffily.

Katie stuck her tongue out at the woman's back and continued on her way. Nothing in the canned aisle. Tohru must not want to serve stuff with so much salt to her housemates. Katie's mother had always warned her that canned food had too much salt.

_Oh, mom… I hope you're not too worried. Who knows, maybe time stopped back at home. Maybe that's too much to hope for… we were supposed to go shopping for dresses today, too; I was really looking forward to that. And now I sound like one of those cliché opens that girly anime always uses. _

She had time to bag some fruits and vegetables before Kagura came bounding back.

"All right, Kyo-kun, let's go pay!"

Katie smiled. "Are you usually this cheerful when you shop for string beans?" She asked, holding up the clear plastic bag.

Kagura smiled brightly at her. "It's just that it's so much fun with you; you're never this nice. Not that I love you any less when you're in a bad mood."

Katie scratched at her new patch of hair. "Maybe you just catch him…" She coughed. "'Scuse me. Maybe you just catch _me _when I'm in a bad mood. Bad luck, you know?"

Kagura nodded thoughtfully and tilted her head. "Yeah… that makes sense. Or maybe you just need anti-depressants." She added seriously.

Feeling her mouth fall open, Katie gasped. "No—I…!"

Kagura giggled again and winked at Katie, then skipped off to the register.

_She tricked me… _Katie walked sulkily to the cashier. She hated getting tricked, but it always happened. Sometimes she was just too gullible. Ok, fine, a lot of the time. She reached the register and looked up to see a very different Kagura. Her face was dark and her eyes were drooping.

"Uh… Kagura?"

"There's no line."

"Oh, no! You mean we don't have to wait? The horror!" Katie said with a wry grin, hoping to change the mood.

"Don't try that." Kagura snapped, hitting Katie's arm; she winced again. "I know _you're_ happy about it. It just means you get to spend even less time with me!"

Katie wasn't really sure how to react; this wasn't exactly normal procedure for a date. If this was a date… she hoped it wasn't. Please, please, please don't let this count as a date. "Uh… I'll buy you… gum?"

"You will?" Kagura asked, a little brighter this time.

"Uh, sure."

"Thank you, Kyo-kun!" She launched herself at Katie and wrapper her arms in a cobra-hold around her neck.

Katie pushed her off after a few seconds since it was becoming hard to breath and reached for some spearmint gum on one of the racks by the register. She handed it to Kagura, hoping that her reward wouldn't be another bear hug.

"Oh…" Kagura took it, looking even more downtrodden than before.

"What?" Katie asked, concerned. Had she done something offensive? Was her fly open? She looked down casually to check, just in case. Having Kagura tell her "you church doors are open" would be just a little awkward.

"Spearmint… does my breath smell?"

"What?" she repeated.

"You gave me minty gum. Usually when a guy does that it means your breath is horrible. Now you'll never kiss me!" Kagura threw her hands over her face and hunched her shoulders as if she were warding off a cold wind.

"No it doesn't." Katie said with a frown. "It just means that they gave you some gum."

"But… Seventeen Magazine said…"

"You _read _that?"

"Well, no, one of my friends gets it and we were looking over it the other day."

"You scared me there."

"Really?" Her voice was hopeful; her eyes lighting up. Had she actually made Kyo nervous?

"I thought maybe you were going to turn into one of those teenage clones."

Kagura giggled, "Oh, Kyo-kun, just because someone reads a magazine it doesn't mean they'll change. I'll stay just the same, don't you worry."

Katie rolled her eyes, "Don't worry, I won't. Could you help me with this?"

They both loaded the groceries onto the belt and waited for the cashier to ring them up in comfortable silence. After the Katie had paid, they both took a bag and walked out of the automatic doors and onto the sidewalk. They walked for a few minutes without speaking. Kagura cleared her throat.

"… Kyo-kun?"

"Hmm?" Katie hummed pleasantly.

"Can I hold your hand?"

She shrugged, "Sure, if you really want to."

Kagura slid her hand happily into Katie's and walked a bit closer. She was struggling a little with holding the bag (she'd opted for the heavier one) with only one hand so Katie reached over and took it from her. These new muscles were really coming in handy. "Thanks." Kagura said, smiling up at her.

"Er… yeah." Katie said uncomfortably. She wasn't so sure about this holding hands thing… _Just till we get home. Just till we get home. Then I can go hide somewhere and see if I can find out if guys' really do give you minty gum if you have bad breath. That jerk, Ben… I swear, if he…_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

HICCUP.

"Honda-san, you should really go back inside."

"Hiccups have nothing to do with the cold. Idiot." HICCUP.

"I _know_ that." Yuki frowned at her. "But isn't it about time for dinner anyway?"

"Yeah, so? You don't really expect me to cook." She snorted and crossed her arms tighter, drawing her knees up on the tree stump. "Unless you want me hiccupping all over your dinner."

"Uh, sorry. That was inconsiderate of me." Yuki turned back to his gardening and swallowed. Something was wrong; it was like Tohru had had a brain transplant that went the way of Denny. Hopefully he was only dreaming. Heck, that was probably it. He pinched himself. _Ow._ All right, maybe not. He would just have to hold out until Tohru started acting normal again. Yuki cleared his throat, "So I planted strawberries." He could've sworn he felt her roll her eyes.

Tohru sighed. "Yay. I love strawberries. They're just the best food in the whole world."

Yuki felt his shoulders drooping, but stiffened just in time. He didn't want grumpy-Tohru to notice that she'd said something that hurt him. She'd probably just keep going.

"Can we go back in now?" She sounded irritated, although that seemed to be her constant manner today.

"Um, sure." Yuki tried to think of something that would sound friendly and open that couldn't possibly be mistaken for selfishness. The dinner question had shown him that. "Is there something you wanted to do at the house?"

"No, I just figured we should hurry up and get there before Kazuma. Wouldn't want to mess up the plot."

He spun around. "How did you--?!"

She laughed. Well, at least that was a nice change, even if it was a sort of contemptuous laugh. "Yeah, yeah, how do I even know about Kazuma. Don't worry about. Let's just _go_." She grabbed his arm and started dragging him back to the path.

Yuki tried to stand up, which was hard while being dragged sideways. Tohru didn't usually touch him at all; how much weirder was this day going to get? Then he saw Kazuma. Oh, great, now Tohru was some sort of psychic. Well, that raised the weird level a few points.

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Katie: I have way too many period jokes in this story…

Kyo: Yeah, you do.

Jess: Oh, shut up. Just because you can't handle i—

Katie: No, it's immature. They just kept springing up…. I should change the title to "Playing Period" or "Period God."

Jess: Ew.

Kyo: (mutters) And I'm_ immature_.

Thanks for reading, everyone! I already have half of the next chapter done, and I'm on spring break, so… we'll see!


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